Monday, October 24, 2016

Dear KJ: How Can I Overcome My Fear of Eating in Public?

Dear KJ: How do you get over your fear of eating in front of other people (at a restaurant or cafeteria, for example) after recovering from an eating disorder? (Originally posted HERE)
Image found HERE.
The experience of having—and recovering from—an eating disorder takes many forms, because many different kinds of people experience EDs. Many eating disorder sufferers experience crippling phobias and obsessive thoughts related to eating and body image. One phobia many people have heard of is having extreme fear of certain foods, or food groups. Another commonly known experience is one of obsessive counting, whether counting calories, carbs or minutes exercising.
Some less well-known fears, however, have to do with the social aspects of eating, which add an additional layer to an individual's struggles managing food or exercise-related symptoms. Eating is a social experience in most cultures, including in American culture. We see advertisements depicting big family meals as a time when people connect with each other at the end of the day. One of Normal Rockwell's most famous pieces features Thanksgiving dinner in this way. The common dating phrase "dinner and a movie" similarly links food with social connection, and pretty much every high school movie depicts the school cafeteria as a modern day Roman Forum! Suffice it to say, most of us associate eating with spending time with friends and family.
But eating socially can be a huge challenge for people who are suffering from or in recovery from eating disorders. Sometimes, this challenge is due to attempts to hide disordered eating habits from friends and family. Sometimes, those struggling eat in isolation not only to be secretive, but also to avoid scrutiny, critique or feeling freakish. It's also common for individuals with eating disorders to experience exaggerated feelings of being watched or judged while eating.
Once a pattern of eating in isolation has become a habit, the prospect of eating socially, or even of eating alone but in a public place, can trigger major anxiety, sometimes leading to panic attacks. Not everyone experiences this, but it's more common than most people think.
There are many well-researched approaches to overcoming fearful experiences. In extreme cases, such as when a person experiences panic attacks or if the social phobia begins to extend beyond just eating situations, it's almost always necessary to work with a therapist with special training on managing phobias. For cases that are less extreme but still distressing, here are some tips.  First, when in recovery from an eating disorder, your first priority must be to take care of your body, even if this sometimes means neglecting social experiences. If your body isn't properly nourished and rested, your brain can't work effectively. If your brain isn't working effectively, your efforts on the psychological side of recovery will be even more difficult.
So, if nourishing yourself properly means missing out on a slumber party or two, so what? However, this only makes sense if you are actually able to nourish yourself in less social contexts. And it can't go on forever. At some point, whether it takes days or weeks or months, it's important to rejoin the social world of eating.
There are two strategies I've used when facing a fear. The first one is to deliberately—and in all seriousness—ask yourself, "realistically, what's the absolute worst thing that could happen? How would I survive that?" (Note the choice of the word "realistically." That means you should avoid imagining scenarios of an asteroid falling on the restaurant, okay?)
Once you've answered this question to yourself, come up with a plan to survive it. Notice I did not say "come up with a plan to guarantee that this never happens!" Facing fears by avoiding them is what trapped in this situation in the first place. So let's try it: maybe your worst case scenario is that somebody comments on your eating in a way that is upsetting, whether it's a difficult relative or a nosy stranger. What would you do to survive it? Is there a phrase you could prepare in response, like "I know you think that commenting on my eating is helpful, but it isn't. Please give me some space." 
Afraid that could be too difficult or awkward? What if your plan was to burst into tears and run out of the room? That doesn't sound fun, but could you survive it? Think to yourself, "Well, if I burst into tears and run out of the room I will probably feel really embarrassed, but I will survive. I will not actually be in any real physical danger." When I describe this strategy, some of my friends find it incredibly useful and calming to be so specific and methodological in their planning, but others find that it increases their anxiety to imagine possible worst-case scenarios. Only use it if it works for you!
The second strategy I've used is to convince myself that I'm just conducting a tiny little experiment, just to see what happens. To do this, ask yourself to take a baby step but nothing more. Perhaps you hope to someday go to a pizza party with your friends, but everything about it terrifies you (the pizza! the chaos! people seeing me eat! food decisions! strangers! ack!). 
So, start really, really small, by just looking at the menu of a local pizza place and asking yourself what your favorite kind of pizza is. You don't have to go there. You don't have to order it. You don't have to eat it. You just have to take one small step toward these other things. If you can get through that first baby step, stop and observe the result of your experiment. Are you okay? Were you able to identify what kind of pizza you would like the most? Great! Now, the next step might be to go to the pizza place with no intention of eating there. Just walk by outside and look into a window. Still okay? Great. Next time you can go in, ask to see a menu (so you have something to say), and then turn around and leave.
The next step might be to go there with a very close friend or family member, but eat ahead of time, so all you have to do is sit in the pizza place while the other person has a slice. Or maybe the next step would be to go in by yourself to eat a slice of pizza on your own. Or maybe you'll ask for a slice of pizza "to go" and then eat it at home. Either way, the point here is to take very small steps without any expectation of doing more than that one step at any time. Then you take the next one, and then the next, and eventually you'll have "tested" each step of the way. This may sound excruciatingly slow or drawn out, but if it works, who cares, right?
You can do it!

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  30. HOW TO GET OVER MARRIAGE OR RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS SOLVED WITH LOVE SPELL: CHECK ON DR. TRUST WEBSITE: https://ultimatespellcast3.wixsite.com/dr-trust

    Hello to you all,i want to use this time to thank Dr. Trust for what he has done for me last week here ,my names are Isabella Molly from Australia,i wanna tell you that me and my husband were together for three years without any trouble nor quarrel, we gave birth to a daughter during this three years and we were good until my husband started having affairs with his co-worker and then him started staying away from home all night and days and he was no longer the man i use to know,him later filed for divorce and ask me and my daughter to go out of his life , at this time i was carrying another child inside of me and now i was so frustrated and was in pains i tried telling him what him was doing was not right , but him wouldn't listen to any body,so i went to my mum house with my child and one day as i was browsing i came a cross a story about this Dr.Trust how he help a lady called Kimberly and i was touched with the story because it was almost same as mine, so i decided to contact him for help at first i was so so scared because many other spell casters that i have tried earlier took me for fool and went away with my money,but due to the line of the story i read about him and gave him my last try with faith and i told him all that has happened. He assure me that i will see result within two days and i told him that many others has told me this before, but nothing work out,him made a statement that many are called but few were chosen. which means him is not like others,so i said okay that was how him finally make my man comes back and it was like a surprise to me and today am a happy person. Now the most perfect thing is that he can’t spend a minute without seeing me or calling me. I gave Dr. Trust a call regarding sudden change of my husband and he made it clear to me that my husband will love me till the end of the world,that he will never leave my sight. Now me and my husband is back together again and has started doing pleasant things he hasn’t done before, he makes me happy and do what he is suppose to do as a man without nagging. Email him for any kind of help you may need

    Email: Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com Or Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com
    Website: https://ultimatespellcast3.wixsite.com/dr-trust
    Phone number:+2348156885231

    ReplyDelete
  31. لاشك ان شركه الحورس تعد افضل شركه خدمات منزليه التي منها (التنظيف/رش مبيدات/مكافحه حشرات/تسليك مجاري/كشف تسربات المياه/تنظيف خزانات..)وعديد من الخدمات التي تلزم البيت او الفله نحن بخدمتك عزيزي العميل.
    شركه رش مبيدات بالطائف
    شركه نقل اثاث وعفش بالطائف
    افضل شركه تنظيف بالطائف
    شركه مكافحة حشرات بالطائف
    شركه كشف تسربات المياه بالطائف
    حيث شركتنا تتميز باداء الخدمه علي افضل وجهه حيث نعد
    شركه تنظيف خزانات بالطائف
    نحن نعمل جاهدين لاجل راحتكم وسلامة صحتكم

    ReplyDelete
  32. i cant still believe that there are people out there dying of heartbreak or scammed by other spell casters,i contacted so many spell caster but non could help me bring my ex boyfriend back until i contacted Dr.SABU and explained my situation to him and then seek his help but to my greatest surprise he told me that he will help me with my case and here i am now celebrating because my Boyfriend has change totally for good. He always want to be by me and can not do anything without my present. i am really enjoying my marriage, what a great celebration. i will keep on testifying on the internet because Dr.SABU is truly a real spell caster.his email:drsabuspelltemple@gmail.com any heartbreak i will advice you to contact Dr.SABU Because in my own situation he did a very great job for me by bringing back my ex Boyfriend without wasting time and since then my relationship has been perfect and protected by his great power.or cell whatsapp number+2347057624993 So better contact him now web/site:https://drsabuspelltemple.wixsite.com/dr-sabu

    ReplyDelete
  33. I was very impressed with you. website you create highly qualified and highly original contents. Thank you for sharing and I hope this website you manage to be the best obat infeksi saluran kencing

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  34. I want to thank Dr.AGUMBA for helping me he make me believe in magic spell, he brought my lover back to met 10:am yesterday morning, i contacted him 4days ago to help me bring my ex back to me, and he told me he will help me thats once he finish casting the spell my lover will come back to me withing 2days, after he finish casting the spell he called me and said he just finsh casting spell that my lover will come looking for me, yesterday morning at 10:am my boyfriend came back to me he said to me that he is so sorry for hurting me by breaking up with me. This is Dr AGUMBA email address:dragumbaspelltemple@yahoo.com contact him to help also

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