Friday, July 12, 2013

Eat, weigh, love? Why pre-wedding diets can lead to unhappily ever after.

Image by Eleanor Davis for the Washington Post. Original here.
Check out my latest op-ed, published in this weekend's Washington Post. 

Here's a teaser, but you'll have to go HERE to read the rest!
After a bride-to-be says yes to the dress, she often starts saying no — to carbs, desserts and other high-calorie foods. 
When I was planning my 2011 wedding, I felt the pressure to do all I could to look my most beautiful on my wedding day. In our culture, beautiful usually means thin. Indeed, a glance at the top three national bridal magazines published this month found an abundance of weight-loss advice, including “clever ways to shed those last few pounds,” tips for choosing a low-sugar juice cleanse and lists of “bloating” foods to avoid.
But dieting is exactly what brides shouldn’t do if they want to be happy, healthy, calm and confident on their wedding day. Sure, there are plenty of great reasons to be more mindful about your diet and exercise habits, but looking like a twig for your nuptials isn’t one of them. In addition to not working 95 percent of the time, dieting makes us poor decision-makers, depletes our willpower, darkens our mood and can be toxic for our intimate relationships....
Did YOU diet before the big day? Was it worth it? Did anybody else out there manage to resist the hoopla? 

62 comments:

  1. Just wanted to tell you I read your book last month. I'm someone who found your blog after the Yahoo article ran. It was fascinating to read about your whole journey. You've given me much food for thought. I applaud you!

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    1. Thanks Caroline! I'm always so thrilled to hear from readers, especially when they say I've provoked some "food for thought." :D

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  2. I'm getting married next year, but I bought a dress that fits me now (with a corset back for wiggle room in either direction). Both my fiance and I are making an effort to eat right on a budget. Basically, we're aware of the nutrients our bodies need and are making an effort to get reasonable amounts of those on most days. I feel better on days when I'm at least a little active, but I haven't set myself on a strict plan, because I know that when I do that, I don't stick with it. Overall, I'm sticking with life as usual. I'm not going to beat myself up over a cookie, but I won't eat the whole dozen in one sitting either.

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    Replies
    1. Sounds like an awesome and healthy approach!

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  3. I love your healthy message and your book is awesome! I didn't diet prior but had been sick when I tried on my wedding dress and had lost weight so it was snug for the day! While we were engaged I was diagnosed with a health condition so the focus was not on the size of my dress perhaps - until typing this had not really thought of it in that way!

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  4. I read your book recently and I finally figured out what was nagging at me when you talked about how thin and beautiful are not the same. I couldn't agree more. I have been thin all my life, but people have had no problem telling me that I'm ugly. To my face. I wish I had read your book earlier and given them all black eyes. But after I was engaged, guess what? I went on a diet. How crazy is that? Thanks for your book. Time to stop counting calories and to start boxing.

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  5. Nope, I didn't diet, didn't try to lose weight. I was in a big upheaval about rejecting the way things are "supposed to be", and it was a conscious decision for me not to try to look drastically different. I spent a lot of time on Offbeat Bride, where they certainly do not promote one particular way of having a wedding, and it encouraged me to go with what felt right to me.
    I had a friend who got married a few months earlier. She paid big money to a weight loss clinic, and lost a lot of weight for her wedding. Then she slowly gained it all back, plus more. This only affirmed to me that I was glad I had not allowed myself to be convinced that I must be super skinny for my wedding day. It's just one day, and the many days that come after it are just as important in the long term.

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  6. I actually received my ordination from as a minister. Although I do agree that becoming officially ordained takes years of study and commitment, which I have under my belt, but I do not think it is fair to call everyone out that applies for online ordination. I have worked very hard to get where I am. Many people may not take it serious, but for those of us who do, it is truly a wonderful thing! get ordained online

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  7. No, I didn't diet. Was I supposed to? I bought a dress that fit me, and I didn't want it to be too big on my wedding day. My husband didn't diet either. It's been 12 years, I can't remember, though.

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