Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Best Positive Body Image Group Activity Ever!

This is my drawing of me.  Yeah, I know I've got talent!
This Monday I had the students in my "Gender, Appearance, and Inequality" seminar participate in the BEST POSITIVE BODY IMAGE GROUP ACTIVITY EVER!!  I've done this activity each year since I started teaching this course, and it never fails to inspire me.  I think I've mentioned the activity once before, but I feel like it deserves it's own post.

Here is the activity, and how/why it is so amazing.  Note: unlike a lot of Positive Body Image activities, this one works best when done with a group!

1) Everyone in the group is given paper and a pen or pencil.  If you're feeling fancy, colored pencils, markers, and/or crayons are fun too!

2) Each person in the group draws a picture of her body on the piece of paper.    It doesn't matter how realistic or artistically appealing the picture is.  This is a time to NOT be a perfectionist.  (See my beautiful drawing, above, if you're worried that you aren't adequately artistic for the task!)

3) After drawing the picture, each person makes a list of all the things she likes/loves/appreciates about her body.  This "things I like" list can be infinitely long, and MUST contain at least FIVE things.  Each person can also list ONE (but not more than one) thing she doesn't like about her body.

4) After 10-15 minutes of artistry and list-making, each person shows the group her picture, and explains her lists.  It's important that each thing on the "like" list is explained, instead of just stated. (i.e., "I like my eyes because they are the same color as my mom's eyes...")

5. After everyone has shared, the activity is over.  Participants are encouraged to keep their picture + list, and to remember what the activity felt like.

Okay, okay, I know what you're thinking.... this is way too simple to be AMAZING AND LIFE-CHANGING.  But, guess what: it is!  Here's why:

As women, we're trained from childhood to believe that it's socially inappropriate to love our bodies, or at least, to admit that we love them. We're taught, instead, to bond with each other over our hatred of our bodies, and various different parts of our bodies.  If a friend starts complaining about "feeling fat," we know the rules: tell her she isn't fat, and then find some part of your own body to complain about.  Similarly, when we're complimented on our looks, we're taught to "be modest" and say lame phrases like "Oh, this old thing?!" or "Oh, thanks, but I really wish I had your butt/boobs/face/hair/feet/hands/etc." 

Sometimes we even talk badly about women who seem "full of themselves," and we're definitely scared of being talked badly about for being "full of ourselves."  We may admit that we like one - maybe two - things about our looks, but the list of things we claim to hate is usually super-long.

This means that, as women, we spend a lot of time hanging out with other women while we all pick apart our bodies, piece by piece.  We may compliment each other, but we don't compliment ourselves, and we talk a lot about feeling jealous of other women because we wish we had "her thighs/boobs/butt/stomach/hair/etc."  We almost NEVER spend time with other women while we all talk about things we like about our bodies.  (FYI, The only cases in which women have told me they've talked positively about their bodies in a group setting, was if they were participating in a classroom activity, or an eating disorder recovery therapy.  In other words, positive body talk doesn't seem to happen "naturally.")

Anyway, this Positive Body Image Group Activity creates an instant community of women talking positively about their bodies.  Even more amazing - it's always a room full of women with different looks, different backgrounds, and different ideas about their own "beauty." Even though we all have a pretty good idea of what beautiful is "supposed" to look like (i.e., tall, thin, white, blonde, big boobies, etc.), every woman has a unique list of "liked" features that typically vary from the "ideal".  What I mean by this, is that instead of only hearing girls say things like "I like being tall, thin, white, blonde, with big boobies" (or only liking the things about themselves that are on this list) women talk about loving features that make them unique and special.  Here are some examples from Monday:

Curly hair, 
straight hair, 
strong broad shoulders, 
my mom's eyes,
big eyes,
single-lidded eyes
interracial features, 
tiny hands, 
little boobs, 
nice boobs, 
being tall, 
being short, 
being perfectly average height, 
full lips, 
naturally pink lips, 
flexible toes, 
light skin, 
dark skin, 
clear skin, 
"innie" belly-buttons, 
strong legs, 
butt dimples, 
crooked pointer-fingers, 
curvy hips,
and more....

I've read about (and tried) body positive activities in which I've made a list of things I like about my body.  That's all good fun, but it's the open sharing of these lists that makes this particular activity so ... radical.  It may feel a bit awkward to read your own list out loud, but it feels so incredibly good and right to hear other women reading theirs.  I even found myself adding features to my own list that I hadn't thought of (i.e., butt dimples!), after hearing them described by my students.  As for hearing women talk about one they they don't like so much.... more than anything this seems to help the participants feel more comfortable sharing all the stuff they like.   The activity would feel a little fake and forced if we were only allowed to talk about the good stuff.  Also, for the record, I think it's okay and healthy, to have mixed feelings about our bodies... it's just awesome to imagine that the mix could be mostly positive instead of mostly negative!

What would YOUR list look like?

PS - In my wildest change-the-world dreams, I'd love for this post to show up in online searches for "positive body image activity."  I really believe in it that much.  So... if there's ever a time to cross-post, link, or track-back, please do it for this post!


  1. Have you seen this? Talk about awesome!


  2. Oh man, this is amazing! I'm going to pass this along... :)

  3. This exercise actually gets even more difficult as you get older. You look in the mirror and think... I use to love my eyes but they are getting droopy. I use to love my breasts because they were perky and now they sag from having children. I loved my naturally blonde/brown hair but now it's a constant fight against the grey. What begins to change is the list is no longer so much about outward appearance as that is fleeting and often depressing so you look to the intrinsic things like knowledge, experience and wisdom.

    1. I love hearing that knowledge, experience, and wisdom can be honored in this way!

  4. I love this, Kjerstin! Actually, for my Senior Seminar class we are putting together a zine that the Women and Gender Studies department publishes every Spring. Every student has to contribute a submission for the zine. Mine was a poem that had a lot to do with body image. Part of this assignment is to "teach" your submission to the class and do an activity. I talked a lot about About-Face, but I also had all of my classmates write down 5 things they like about their appearances and share at least one with the class. I heard eyes, hairy legs, smile, curves, and my professor said her voice. It was really awesome. I really like that you make them explain why they chose what they did. Awesome activity! :D

    1. So awesome! I like the "voice" one a lot... it's great when we talk about what our bodies DO instead of just what they look like.

  5. I really enjoyed reading this post. I sat back for a minute and wondered, "Could something like this be done with a group of my girlfriends? Would we be able to open up like that, just sitting around the living room?" Perhaps someday it will! The day after I read your post, I found an article on Yahoo about a 14-year-old girl who is petitioning the use of photoshop, specifically in publications targeting young girls, because the unrealistic changes made affect the self-images of girls. This is the link if you want to check it out: http://shine.yahoo.com/beauty/teen-girl-petitions-seventeen-magazine-stop-airbrushing-models-130000558.html

    1. Oh, I just realized someone sent you the SAME article via msn! Then how about The Naked Face Project? http://www.thenakedfaceproject.com/

    2. I love BOTH of these projects! People are doing such great things out there... :)

  6. I wonder if this exercise could work as a blog round-up. You could have everyone post their drawing and list! I love your drawing.

    1. Ooooh Terri, you might be on to something there! I've never hosted a blog round-up before, but I'm going to give this some thought! :)

  7. Great activity! When I started to read it, I first thought that it might turn into a horrible gripe session. Glad it turned out positive. I am going to try it for myself. Like Katie M said, it does get harder as we get older, but there should still be things that we like/love about ourselves!

    1. Hi a.eye,
      Thanks for your comment. Every time I've done this activity it's been 100% positive. At the end of the "sharing" part, there's this amazing positive energy in the room. It's as if all of the women are, for the first time, realizing that they actually like themselves and see themselves as beautiful because of their uniqueness. Such a gift!

  8. Kjerstin, have you used any other similarly inspiring activities with you students? How do the men in class respond?

  9. Hi Anon,
    Great questions. I'm in the process of collecting body-positive classroom activities, and hope to write about them in the future. As for how my male students respond, I've had mixed results, but I think it has depended more on personalities of the individual men than to them being "men", in general.

    This year I have zero men in my classroom, so it wasn't an issue.
    Last year I had 1 man, and he struggled in the class, in generally. Having never been in a classroom with women, much less multi-cultural women, last year's "lone-ranger" learned a lot, but tried my patience on a daily basis. For example... when we did this activity he said he couldn't think of anything that he didn't like about this body, which was odd and a bit alienating to the women in the class. But, again, I stress that this was not due to him being a man, generally, but due to his unique personality and experiences.

    Two years ago I had two men in my class, and both enjoyed and participated in this activity. It was fantastic - brought the class much closer together as a community and also helped the women understand that men also have body image insecurities.


  10. Have you ever explored why our culture teaches us to put ourselves down? I believe there's a whole superstitious/religious background to this in the European culture (maybe others too, I mainly know about my own). Since we live in a new era, I think it's high time we get over this. Great post! I shared on FB and Twitter. Oh, and came over from Sally's link at Already Pretty.

    1. Most of the reading I've done suggests that "fat talk" is the result of two cultural norms for women. 1) that we should be modest instead of boastful, and 2) that we should be nice to each other (i.e., if a friend complains about their bodies, we comply with the conversation norms). I've tended to focus only on fairly modern history/culture, so there may be european roots to this that I am unaware of. I DO think it's time for us to "get over this" - poor body image isn't just bad for our self-esteem, it also predicts poorer health overall. I'd love to see public-health campaigns focused on body acceptance instead of panic over the so-called "obesity epidemic". There's no data to support that stigmatizing people makes them healthier, but there's TONS of data showing that when we appreciate our bodies we're more likely to take care of them.

      Thanks for sharing on FB and Twitter!

  11. Guess what! This showed up in the first page of my google search "self image exercises". Thought you would like to know...

  12. Shelt, that's exactly how I found it haha :) great post btw. thanks.

  13. I love this idea and will be using it in my Young Ladies Circle today. I am working on empowering young girls in the high school I work at and can't wait to see how this goes over in group! Thank you so much!

  14. I searched "activities positive body image" on Google and this was the first thing that came up. I fully intend to use this with my group on Tuesday!

  15. It was first in my search for "body confidence activities for girls" Yay!! love this one!

  16. I typed "body image exercises for group" and this was the first one that popped up! I co-facilitate a Sexual Health in Recovery group for female veterans (or wives of veterans) who are in recovery from alcohol or substance abuse. I intend to use this in our group today. Thanks for this!

    1. Update: it was so good! We did the exercise in group today. Not too surprising, they had a hard time focusing on what they love/like/appreciate about their bodies, and a really hard time narrowing down what they don't like to only one. But, given the time, they started getting creative and you could see them shift in their thinking as they were forced to stay positive. They started smiling and even their body posture changed. At the end, they openly shared their drawings and their lists and reaffirmed their positive qualities to each other. It was phenomenal. Thank you again for such a simple but profound group exercise.

    2. Woah! That is so awesome to hear. You just made my week!

  17. This is now the FIRST page that shows up on the google search. Good job! I plan to use this activity tonight in my eating disorder support group. Thank you.

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