Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Day 207: How to Enjoy a Romantic (Mirror-Free) Honeymoon at Volcano National Park. Oh, and NOW WHAT??

I'm writing tonight from Princeville, HI where Michael and I have been staying since Friday evening.  We were on the "Big Island" the week prior.  

I feel a bit guilty that my blog posts have been infrequent since the honeymoon began, but ... well ... I've been enjoying myself!  And for that, I must thank all of you. I received dozens of comments and emails from readers with great suggestions for fun and affordable adventures.  We've taken a lot of your advice, from a stunning hike on the Awini Trail down to a black sand beach in Pololu Valley, to a beautiful drive up the Hamakau Coast through Waimea, not to mention some of the most delicious roadside BBQ we've ever eaten!  It's been great.

Want a taste for the awesomeness of Hawaii?  Most of you have never heard my voice, so I decided to get creative and record a short "tour" of our bed-and-breakfast near Volcano National Park.  (Mom, you'll love this!) Here it is:

OOPS!! - my iPhone ran out of memory.  My last sentence ended with "... totally adorable husband who is not yet dressed." I pick up again here:

So how has married life impacted my "no-mirrors" project?  It's been awesome.  I'm reminded of the camping trip Michael and I took a few months ago (on Day 94), when mirrors were sparse and I didn't notice or care.  It's been like that, except better.  Yet, I feel even more relaxed on this trip.  Why?  Well, it's not so much because I'm married (sorry babe!), as it is because I'm no longer planning a wedding.  If you remember, being a bride-to-be left me feeling self-conscious and anxious about my looksI put pressure on myself (or perhaps absorbed pressure from the wedding industry) to be a "stunning" bride.  Well... now that the wedding is over I don't feel that pressure any more.  Now I can just be me.  

But a few critical questions remain: who am I now, without a looming wedding, and still without mirrors? Is there still any point to continuing this project?  Do I need it any more, or has this story reached it's climax?  Furthermore, do I even want to?  In a word: yes.  I do.   I don't know if my wedding was the climax of this story, but here is my sincere hope: if going without mirrors helped me feel strong, confident, and, yes, stunning on my wedding day, I hope I'll continue feeling these things, but additionally gain a quieter and calmer understanding of myself and my body in the blissfully normal months ahead.  I can't wait, and look forward to sharing the journey with you.

Oh, and a curious question: did anyone else have a, "Wow, I'm married.... NOW WHAT??" experience after the wedding?  If so, what answers did you come up with?


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  1. What a fantastic update! So glad that you are having a wonderful time in Hawaii. We are planning a trip to Maui next year, and seeing your video just plain made me happy. It's also very good to hear that you are continuing with the project, I would really miss the updates.
    Have a wonderful time in paradise!

  2. Yeah, we won't make it to Maui on this trip, but what we've seen and done so far has been so amazing I can't imagine having more fun! :)

  3. The Lihuai BBQ Inn was one of the best meals we ate on our Honeymoon in Hawaii. I'm sure I'm spelling it wrong. It is highly recommended by locals on Kauai!!! It looks like a dive not fancy, but the macadamia nut chicken was amazing!!! Plus I loved Bubba burgers:-)

  4. In answer to your question, I had a "now what" sort of moment. On one hand I was shocked at how much didn't change. We still were us as us. But there was some sort of deep feeling that it was safer, more permanent. Things only changed in the one way I totally didn't expect. Of course we had 2 weddings (one in his home country, one in mine) so after the first wedding, we had a bit of calm followed by "You are kidding! We have to do this AGAIN?!?!?" Was very fun and relaxing the second time though. (2nd time was the legal one so it still had meaning, but we were pros by then) Now go back to having fun!

  5. Three words:
    Kalhua pork quesadillas.
    The perfect marriage of California and Hawaii.
    If you get the chance, go for it!

  6. Congrats! Hawaii is beautiful! Yes I did have that ”what now?” Then I realized that the wedding was a celebration of us and a promise of our love to one another. Also that this is just the beginning of our love story. Our lives together are really an adventure if you will. Oh and we put God right in the middle.

  7. I didn't have a "what now" moment, but I agree with Anonymous that marriage did make things feel safer and more permanent. The first couple of months were hard for me -- especially changing my name -- but now, six months later, we've settled in, and I finally have the happy newlywed-ness.

  8. Hubby literally got into the limo after the wedding and said to me, "OK, we're married now--how come I don't feel any different?" The relationship mainly stayed the same for us, with the few occasional starts from me hearing the word "wife" and him hearing the word "husband" and realizing we were talking about each other...or the first double-take he had at hearing me refer to myself as "Mrs. Adams." But I think the one big change is that considering each other in every decision is now no longer optional--not so much that permissions need to be granted, but that the choices you make for yourself now have a direct bearing on your spouse. If you're already good at compromise (and considering you've got a guy willing to cover up mirrors for you and not only did he NOT run screaming for the hills, he put a ring on it), this will be no big issue.

    Enjoy the adventure!

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