Monday, August 22, 2011

Day 150: Reporting From Las Vegas.

Hi everyone!  I can only write a short post today.  I'm traveling for the ASA (American Sociological Association) conference, in Las Vegas, NV.  My time is limited and my internet connection is poor!  


Anyway, I'm thoroughly enjoying my 2nd official "No Makeup Monday" while networking and presenting my own research at ASA.  This is the largest and arguably most important professional conference of the year, so I was delighted to find that I feel GREAT sans-makeup. Sociologists rock.  It occurred to me today that I feel more pressure to wear makeup when spending time with my students, than my colleagues.  I need to give this more consideration in the coming weeks.  Also - I decided to ditch my contact lenses for the day and wear my glasses.  I'm consciously trying to channel Daria (remember her??) - a personal hero of mine, along with Miss Piggy!  Both of these women (characters??) are bravely unapologetic about who they are.  I have always found this to be inspiring.

On a more serious note, I WILL be deleting any bullying (i.e., "you are UGLY/FAT/STUPID/CRAZY") comments left on this blog, going forward.  As I like to tell my students: it is fine (in fact encouraged!) to critique ideas, but not people.  In particular, I will not tolerate misogyny or fat-hatred, and especially do not want my readers to see these types of comments and feel threatened, bullied, or insecure by proxy.  Thank you for your understanding on this point.  The comments have been shocking to me, and I am truly grateful to those of you who have come to my defense these past few days!

As Miss Piggy has fabulously said, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye!"


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66 comments:

  1. Hi Kjerstin. I discovered your blog this morning and read the first few entries. It was obvious that the bully you're referring to did the same yesterday. I admire what you're doing and will be cheering you on as you go forward! LOVE the Miss Piggy quote!! :-)

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  2. Good for you for deleting those comments - they are totally unnecessary! You're doing great.

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  3. You missed a couple on your first day/ pre day

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  4. Ah, thank you! I went through my comments roll and did a "search" for some of the cruel words, but apparently I missed one. Gone!

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  5. This is probably addressed earlier in the blog and I'm reading back slowly in search of it... how do you deal with public restrooms and other reflective surfaces?

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  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  7. I stare at my hands while I'm washing up in public restrooms.... With reflective surfaces I try my best to look straight ahead when I walk down the street (no storefront mirrors!), but if I see myself on accident I look away fast! I sometimes "see" myself, but I don't "look". Does that make sense?

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  8. Good for you! It seems that there are people out there who like to be mean and nasty and negative all the time. These are the people who never take a chance, never try something new, and always look at the glass half empty. I think your blog is inspiring. I wrote my Masters thesis about 8 years ago on the effects the media has on women, their views and opinions and their self-esteem.

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  9. Totally makes sense! I have now made it through the last several months of blog (on skim mode) . Very interesting.

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  10. I am interested in the non-profit you are working for and went to the about-face website for more information. I have 2 daughters and can use all the help I can get in encouraging them to love their bodies and their faces, imperfections and all! It's so hard with all the advertising that targets insecure young girls and women! Thank you for bring attention to this important issue. I am one grateful mom. Yours must be very proud of you!

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  11. I'm a loyal follower of your site and so many of your observations and descriptions make me chuckle; love your writing! Do you have any pictures of you and your fiancee together that you are willing to post on your blog? It would be fun to see, or do we have to wait until you post a wedding picture?

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  12. To the person wanting to see pictures of Kjerstin and her fiancee.

    She has posted several photos (lovely ones!) of herself. There are also several of her and her fiancee. Check out day 76 in June.

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  13. I would delete those comments too! It's one thing to give construstive critisism, but to be down right mean is another and just immature! I have been reading all your blogs and love them! I am finally caught up and am excited to keep on reading. I don't think I can completely not look in a mirror but it's def giving me some ideas on how to accept yourself. I have always struggled with self esteem issues and image. I think I am way too hard on myself and trying to just love me now. Keep up the good work !

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  14. oh btw you are beautiful!!! :)

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  15. She certainly is beautiful!!!! So proud of you Kjerstin! People can be so cruel and you've showed a lot of class and poise the past few days. I feel honored and lucky to be joining the fam!

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  16. "On a more serious note, I WILL be deleting any bullying (i.e., "you are UGLY/FAT/STUPID/CRAZY") comments left on this blog, going forward. As I like to tell my students: it is fine (in fact encouraged!) to critique ideas, but not people." THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!! I've been reading your blog for the past view days and I've loved everything, but the above quote I REALLY loved. It gets so tiring to see nasty, unhelpful comments on articles/blogs (not just on your site, in general) and I'm grateful that you have set a tone for what will/will not be allowed.

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  17. The bullies will be gone soon, those of us that appreciate what you're doing will be with you for the rest of your journey.
    Rock on!!

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  18. I'm a 14 year old girl who has read every single entry on this blog in the past 3 days, and I'd like to say you're inspiring. Last night I realized that I love my ears (sounds weird, but whatever works!!) this is really inspiring, so thank you(:

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  19. Here is hoping you are enjoying your time at the conference!!! I heard this one quote eons ago and it stuck a chord deep within me, "beauty is in the soul of the beholder".

    Thought I'd share!!!!

    w

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  20. I am a first time reader and have infact only read this entry so far. Sincen being directed here by a friend I find this fascinating. But I am one to play Devil's advocate and in the interest of sparking discussion (and only in the interest) I have to ask whether simply deleting those comments so cruely cast is the right thing to do? I accept that they sound to be nothing more than ignorant cries, and at best the exclamations of those afraid. However are they not entitled to make such comments, and is it not more important to approach them in a way that discusses them in more developed manners. Not necassarily to address the individual comments but to muse on the concept of these bullying notes as a whole.

    As I said before I would like to reassure you I make this point only out of interest of discussion and having been a victim of it for many years I vehemently despise bullying.

    And finally a congratulations on the concept of this blog and this entry, I greatly look forward to investigating the archives and eagerly await those entries yet to come.

    Vincent

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  21. I hope your confernece contines this well and so happy you felt good today sans makeup...plus dont you love glasses days?

    1 more thing: I am so with you and looking goof for my students not peers. I teach middle school and feel I dress for them not to judge...I am waiting to see how you explore that. I think i might explore it within myself as well.

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  22. Vincent....really?
    This is the only entry you've read and you're trying to give her advice....sad.

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  23. Vincent... I read every one of those "bully" comments. They were ugly, disturbing attacks and not worthy of discussion. The person who wrote them is greatly in need of therapy. Kjerstin is absolutely correct in deleting them.

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  24. by saying that you wear mascara in an attempt to "look older and more professional than my students"

    ok, how is that not ageist or classist? you are clearly not going at this wholistically.

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  25. Oh, I absolutely second deleting hater comments, because I would certainly not feel obliged to save these human beings by discussing their inner emptiness or whatever dictates them to leave such a comment. Some people are mean and sometimes it really doesn't go deeper than that.

    As for not wearing make up - I kind of see your point, but I think it is more important to like yourself without make up than to not wear make up. I mean, we wear nice clothes, a flattering haircut and cute shoes, aren't we? There is nothing wrong with that. It is just very important to not define yourself entirely by that stuff. :)

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  26. I'm a middle school teacher and once caught two students passing a note. It was a piece of paper with a number on it - I asked for an explanation and they eagerly told me that they gave a numerical grade to each teacher every day on how they looked - 8/10, 2/10, etc. They were quite proud of themselves. Needless to say, in spite of anything I may have thought about it, I dressed very carefully for this class in the future.

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  27. I think this is a very brave an awesome thing you are doing. I'm listening to the bobby bones show right now and thats how I heard of you. I'm 12 and you are such an inspiration to me!

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  28. This is a great read... found it about a week ago and caught myself up pon your blog, thanks, will be reading more in the future

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  29. WHAT??? I cannot believe people would write insulting remarks on a blog like yours - but I guess there's crazy f***ers everywhere...

    You're doing great! Love to read how you're enjoying not wearing make-up. I have only recently discovered that I don't have to wear make-up to feel good about myself - but it's not always easy to keep that mindset.

    Good stuff! Keep posting, I'll keep reading -
    good luck!

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  30. ur not fat or ugly or crazy. you seem creative and smart

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  31. I did wonder if you only received positive comments here, because on the internet that's rarely the case. There are always people out there just waiting for a chance to try and make people feel bad, or give bad comments about their website, the person, work or blog down. It seems you have your share of that too. I've been wanting to write a quite personal blog myself, but I'm afraid comments like that will really hurt and make me doubt myself even more. Any tips on how to deal with that?

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  32. You sound like a stupid feminist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shoot! I hate when that happens. Thanks for letting me know. I'll do whatever I can to change who I am for your approval.... :)

      Delete
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