1) FEASIBILITY: Yes, it's possible (but really hard)!
To answer the burning question... YES, it has been possible to remove mirrors from my life. I no longer feel dependent on mirrors in my daily life, which is pretty phenomenal. That said, it's been incredibly difficult in a practical sense, and sometimes I still slip up; I'm not yet 100% mirror-free. Realistically, there have only been a handful of days in the past 3 months when I haven't seen myself at all - and those were all days when I didn't leave the house. Simply, mirrors and reflective surfaces are everywhere, and even the most stringent preventative measures can't prevent accidental glimpses. Those peripheral peeks have been mostly benign, but every so often, "seeing myself" has led to "looking at myself," which is totally against the rules. :( How frequently does this happen? Probably once or twice each week, which isn't too too bad, but I need to do better.
|Exceedingly Excessive Makeup Collection! |
(okay, okay, it's not mine... but you get the idea!)
2) TRUST: It's a good thing.
When I first started avoiding mirrors I felt paranoid about my appearance. (Heck, sometimes I felt paranoid that I didn't even exist!). For a few weeks I became that annoying girl who asks everybody "Do I look okay??!" I was unnerved to discover that I didn't even trust people when they told me I looked alright. This was profoundly depressing - had I ever trusted a compliment on my looks??
|Blanche Dubois, who "always depended on the kindness|
of strangers." I get that now. (image found here.)
So.... do I have FANTASTIC BODY IMAGE now? Well, no. But I never expected to reverse a 15+year issue in only a few months. That would be ridiculously simple, and - as is true for most women - my body image remains ridiculously complex. Yet I'm seeing small changes, all in a positive direction, and these give me hope. Frankly, doing something about my body image, rather than just talking about it, has felt empowering in and of itself. Yay me!
3) WEDDING ANGST: B.B.C.T.G. Item #37 Scares the Crap Out of Me.
Yeah, I got my eyebrows waxed without seeing the results, I downward-dogged with only my sister's perky rear to guide my form, and I kind of bared my soul to the world-wide-web, regarding my body image struggles... all in a quest to complete The Knot's Bridal Beauty: Countdown to Gorgeous list without looking into a mirror. Yet, the one item on this list that scares me the most is the only item I'm NOT ALLOWED to complete. According to The Knot, the last thing I'm supposed to do (err... I mean, not do) before walking down the isle to marry Michael, is:
"Take a few moments to reflect on the meaning of the day before giving yourself one last once-over in the mirror."
|Original image here.|
But maybe this is just one more overly-romantic bridal "must-do" myth, and I'd be buying into it at the cost of this projects' integrity. Will I be able to create this moment for myself on my own terms? What have I gotten myself into!? (Advice welcome!)
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